A rough week

It's Friday, the end of the week. A rough week actually!

My friend's dad died yesterday. May Allah bless and forgive him and grant him to Jannah. 

I have been suffering a bad toothache since Monday. I'm having a root canal next Monday. I have not been sleeping well, and last night was the worst. I can just take Tylenol or Motrin because I'm nursing :(

I'm snow fatigued!! We had 6 snow days in the last couple weeks and it's still snowing. We have tons of snow outside. 

I'm kind of worried about what's going on in Egypt. I'm glad that the people finally stood up to make the change we all have been waiting for in our Arab countries. Still worried that some sick people will use this to steal, destroy, and hurt others. Please keep praying for Egyptians.

Snow, toothache, and sadness result in zero motivation to do anything!!


Guest Post 2: Hate

It's about time for my monthly guest post. Thanks to sweet Wafa' for accepting my invitation to post on my blog. Wafa's blog is one of the first blogs I started to read and enjoy. She has a very special way in writing and talking about things. You can tell from her blog that she is very humanitarian. She always seeks peace and love for all humans!

It is an honor to have your post here Wafa' :) 

"Lovely Susu invited me to write a post on her blog which i love dearly. 
So many topics rush into my mind when i first saw the email and kept wondering what will i write about, but the topic that came in my mind first and stuck was  "hate", dunno why? probably cuz it fills my life to the "hate" point actually. 

i didn't grow up in a "loving" surroundings, there were hate between families, hate between siblings, hate for this person and hate for the other one. And with the lack of love too , hate will just take control. 
Being "almost" the youngest makes you neglected mostly and invisible so you can see and do things without the realization of others.And it makes you the target too cuz no one will notice either. 

But you know what, most times i am not grumpy about what happened over my childhood and most of my life. The older i got the more i realize how lucky i was, how much good this hate has turn me into. Yes, i do have my share of ups and downs but i tend to get up quicker than falling, So maybe this hate has taught me something. 

One of the things that "hate" taught me is/was to be more understanding . Understanding of the scars these people who hurt me might have, the pain and the sufferings they must have been in that make them hurt and  transfer them into a person who hurts others. 

We keep insisting on "remembering only the goods about the dead" and i like that but when i think about my father and all that had happened, i keep wondering about his childhood. I never knew it , i know that he has lost his father when he was young and he was the eldest. But i wonder how did the death of his father  affect him ? How being the eldest son who would have to work for his younger ones make him feel? . 
Was he happy about it? Was he sad and angry cuz he didn't have the chance to study and be someone whom he might wish to be ? . 
He was married before my mother and has two kids who died young. How did that affect him? 
wow, now i am thinking is he with them right now? .

Sometimes working hard and not getting what you think you deserve makes you live in anger and destroy your inner self. Did working hard for his younger brother and getting nothing in return made him less caring about his second family "us" ?. 

I don't hate my father not only because he is dead but also because i am trying my best to understand him and love him instead of hating him. 

The cycle must stop and be cut at one point, so why not make it stop right now. Hate is like digging a hole to bury your haters in forgetting that the sand and mud of that hole is all over you. 

I don't want to hate anyone, i want to try to understand their surroundings and i don't have to "know" these surroundings to actually understand them but just the idea that 
"they are like me, the have tough times ,sadly they can not get out of these tough times so the least i can not hate them" . 
And that's not a belittling them, it's actually a way to stretch a hand and show that we are similar in so many ways and that today i can understand you and forgive you and one day you can understand me and forgive me too. 

BTW,forgiving doesn't necessarily mean forgetting. But understanding and loving can make you forget sometimes.

P.S: This topic is not ONLY about my father but he as merely an example of  people whom i didn't have a good relationship with or hated due to the way they hurt me badly. Before you judge me over your religion views, try to love me :)"


Appalled too!

This video got me really, really mad when I first saw it on Facebook. Not only because this first grader kid was verbally and physically abused by his teacher, but also because the teacher and the other one who is filming are using the kid's fear and tears for fun. You can see how both of them are enjoying the kid's begging as you hear them chuckling in the background. I was just hoping this video to spread so the kid's family see it and take action toward the teacher. I believe this teacher should not be only prevented from teaching, she should be taken to court too.
I was glad last night to know that this got Queen Rania's attention and that they are trying to find the teacher now. 


Why Am I desperately looking forward to April?!!

  • It's going to be officially Spring here. I miss Spring already!
  • Baby Aboudy will be bigger (around 6 months old), which means sleeping through the night (or at least this is what I'm hoping)! I really can't wait to get at least 5 continuous hours of sleep!
  • I'll be in my pre-pregnancy weight, hopefully!!! I'm counting on the coming months to lose the extra weight.
  • It's going to be only two months away from our trip to Amman. I miss my family and friends so much!
  • I will be done with my second dissertation paper by then, hopefully. I'll try my best!!
  • I went through a lot in the last few months. I guess by April, things will be cleared out! Also, the postpartum phase will be behind and so the right decisions about things and people around will be made. No vagueness, not anymore!!


I'm just wondering...

How do you know that you are a good friend? How can you tell? Does the number of friends you have give any indication? I'm talking about close, like really close friends! 

Also, how can you tell that you got the BEST girl friend!! Should the best friend be the best all the time, or the best currently?!

Did you get confused with this post? Don't worry because I'm confused too!


My new template!

If you got to read this post I guess you've already noticed my blog's new template. I tried to have it personalized with some of my own pictures. I also tried to make it as simple as possible. I hope you like it!

I think this is the only thing I have been up to recently. It's too quite around here; hubby and kids are back to work and school after the winter break. And I have been trying so bad to get some work done on my research since then.

I'm also trying to get some of this year's resolutions done. In addition to those resolutions, I have a list of things to do in the coming weeks. First thing will be getting my teeth fixed after having some major troubles with them during pregnancy. My next step will be getting them whitened. Oh yeah!!!

Pregnancy had also its bad effect on my skin. I had bad acne on my face all around pregnancy that left dark spots which are not going away with any face cream. So I'm thinking about consulting a dermatologist on treatment options. I might do some laser treatment, if recommended, will see!

That's it! I guess it's all about my look. I need to get back in shape before heading to Amman this summer :)

On a last note, my thoughts have been lately with my dear friend who's taking care of her very sick dad. Please keep her in your prayers. Thanks!


2011 Resolutions

To be honest I never put a new year resolutions before. At the end of any year I just look back and see what I accomplished in that year; what are the best and worst things happened to me. I try to learn from my mistakes so I don't do them again. Or feel happy for the good things Allah helped me to do or achieve (since good things are always from Allah and bad things are from me and the devil).

Looking back at 2010, I see that the only and BEST thing I accomplished was having baby Abdurahman. I feel like I spent the whole year between pregnancy, delivery, and taking care of him. I know that I had rough times during these days but it is all worth it. Seeing him smiling which just happened recently erases all those hard moments.

Now writing down my 2011 resolutions:
  • Finishing my PhD!!!! It has been one of my goals for the last three years and unfortunately it was not achieved :( I'm optimistic that I will be able to do it this year though, inshallah!
  • Losing weight. I guess this is another repeated resolution because I always want to lose weight no matter how thin I am :) I also need to exercise on a routine basis. I'm thinking about doing some Yoga this year.
  • I will try to forgive myself and others more.
  • I will show my husband, kids, and anyone I love how much I care about them.
  • I will think and maybe start working on that thing, my own thing, I want to do. Something I really enjoy doing and will benefit others. More details to come...
Have a peaceful and healthy new year, everyone!
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